I quit

OK: screw this, I suck at poker. I believe in miracles, but do my opponents always have to wake up with them? I try to play the odds, but the odds are resolutely against me. The chance that my opponent is holding the nuts or will draw to the nuts is 100%.

It's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. gg

Radiohead -- Just

I are not a idiot :(

Poker Stars $0.10/$0.25 No Limit Hold'em - 3 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

Hero (SB): $30.80
BB: $11.80
BTN: $17.05

Pre Flop: ($0.35) Hero is SB with 8 8
BTN raises to $17.05 all in, Hero raises to $30.80 all in, 1 fold

Hero shows 8 8
BTN shows 4 Q

Flop: ($34.35) 4 A J (2 players - 2 are all in)
Turn: ($34.35) Q (2 players - 2 are all in)
River: ($34.35) 6 (2 players - 2 are all in)

Final Pot: $34.35
BTN wins $33.35
(Rake: $1.00)

Conan776: nh

Same villain later....

Poker Stars $0.10/$0.25 No Limit Hold'em - 9 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

MP2: $24.65
Hero (CO): $32.45
BTN: $16.65
SB: $25.00
BB: $27.90
UTG: $25.00
UTG+1: $25.00
UTG+2: $25.00
MP1: $35.60

Pre Flop: ($0.35) Hero is CO with T A
1 fold, UTG+1 raises to $1, 2 folds, MP2 calls $1, Hero calls $1, 2 folds, BB raises to $27.90 all in, 2 folds, Hero calls $26.90

Hero shows T A
BB shows J J

Flop: ($57.90) T Q 8 (2 players - 1 is all in)
Turn: ($57.90) 5 (2 players - 1 is all in)
River: ($57.90) T (2 players - 1 is all in)
Final Pot: $57.90
Hero wins $55.05
(Rake: $2.85)

Villain: idiot

(villain leaves)

7th anniversary of the Iraq War

HuffPo reminds me that today marks the seventh anniversary of the invasion of Iraq.

I still remember seeing Saddam's final speech to the Iraqi Parliament on the eve on the invasion, which he concluded by saying (I'm paraphrasing, as I've never seen this in print):

"Finally, I'd like to again say to the American people and to the World, that Iraq does not have any Weapons of Mass Destruction. But," he shrugs, "if George Bush want us to have them so bad, we'll see what we can do about whipping some up." (Laughter, perhaps mildly nervous, from the chamber.)

Worst bluff ever? Second level thinking in a world of realpolitik? Probably.

The invasion coverage was exciting though. I'm wondering how Bill Hicks would have described it had he been still with us. Oh, right:

Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your government is in control. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up, go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their f***ing skulls together and congratulate you on the living in the land of freedom. Here you go America - you are free to do what well tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!

I forget exactly where I was, let alone who I was, online in 2003, but I was out here somewhere trying to tell people that, yes, the French were right: Iraq didn't have any weapons of mass destruction. LOL @ Freedom fries!

Oh well.

George W. Bush (accidental U2 cover) -- Iraq War Speech (Sunday Bloody Sunday remix)

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

If you like anything Irish, go see The Secret of the Kells!

It has the most amazing and original animation I've seen in years.

Viffer banned from 2+2

From 2+2 mod Pudge714:

viffers post has been deleted and we will discuss what to do about it. This isn't a permanent move. Reposting or offering to pm/email/etc the contents of the deleted post to other users will result in bans or infractions.

Oops, but then Viffer X-posted it (n.b.: although it appears to be in the first person, it's believed Viffer was relating 3rd party info) in another thread:

Apparently he re-posted something that he was asked not to post. The ban is only for 3 days so we will likely hear from him again.

Of course, given that this is Viffer we're talking about, the Mods quickly came to their senses and lifted the ban. According to moderator apefish:

It's very clear now that viffer posted it, it was taken down and he was told that it can't be an anonymous accusation (which it was), and he reposted it very quickly vouching for what he felt was its authenticity, resulting in the ban. At least part of that was a misunderstanding and his account was rather quickly reinstated after direct contact between Mason and viffer.

Ah well, the usual 2+2 shenanigans. Good luck Viffer. I guess it helps when you want to speak truth to power to have been on TV. At least I don't feel so alone any more ;-)

Update 3/18: Stoxtrader has now resigned from Stoxpoker.

 

They Might Be Giants -- Purple Toupee

Nice little heater

Not a bad day, not a bad day at all.

And as if to assuage my doubts from the wee hours of this morning, PokerStars seems to have magically restocked the pond.

Poker Stars $0.10/$0.25 No Limit Hold'em - 9 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BB: $25.00
UTG: $32.70
UTG+1: $25.00
UTG+2: $33.85
MP1: $25.45
MP2: $27.95
CO: $24.40
BTN: $26.00
Hero (SB): $25.40

Pre Flop: ($0.35) Hero is SB with 2 2

3 folds, MP1 raises to $1, MP2 calls $1, 2 folds, Hero calls $0.90, 1 fold

Flop: ($3.25) 2 3 9 (3 players)

Hero checks, MP1 bets $2.25, MP2 folds, Hero calls $2.25

Turn: ($7.75) 9 (2 players)

Hero checks, MP1 bets $6, Hero raises to $12, MP1 raises to $22.20 all in, Hero calls $10.15 all in

River: ($52.05) 5 (2 players - 2 are all in)

Final Pot: $52.05

MP1 shows Q K (a pair of Nines)
Hero shows 2 2 (a full house, Deuces full of Nines)

Hero wins $49.50
(Rake: $2.55)

Is 25NL the new 50NL?

I'm really starting to think so.

I'm up late waiting (and waiting) for High Stakes Poker season 6 episode 5 to pop up on YouTube. So, before giving up, I thought I'd have a quick look at how the tables are running at this ungodly hour.


The loosest 50BB min table at 25NL on PokerStars was 17% players per flop!

There were seven tables running looser than that at 50NL. Heck, there were a combined six 200NL and 400NL tables going now which are looser than that.

Of course, there are also looser games down at 10NL.

I realize that 4AM ET on a Monday morning, the day after the U.S. has sprung forward an hour for daylight savings is an off peak time for poker but I still wouldn't expect 25NL to be the most nitty level running below the nosebleeds.

It's only midnight in California after all, and there are 80k players on PokerStars right now.

Maybe with the recession the action has effectively moved down a level?

Or it could have been an aberration. Looking again now four new tables are up and running at 20%+. Still, I think the mean streets are getting meaner....

Another positive week

I ran so bad this evening with all-ins pre-flop. AKo << AKs, a 3 way: KK << KK + AQs (he insta-flops the flush), and at a four handed table QQ << AKo. But I played through it, and after a few players stacked off into me when I held a set, ended up with only a $38 loss on the day.

So I won $42 bucks all week which is terrible. And paid $262 in rake. I'd rather be at 50NL and cut that ratio in half at least. At this rate, being rolled for that is going to take a while.

At least I'm in the green now more than the red. I feel like I'm playing good, but over this sample my starting hand results are very abnormal. I won an average of $1.69 a hand with AA, and only $0.79 a hand with KK. I won the most money-wise this week with AQo ($0.88 a hand) but amazingly the biggest money loser was AKs, where I lost $2.52 a hand. AKo lost $0.37 a hand. Rough going indeed.

xxNostromo9366xx is my new BFF

Dear Nostromo,

If you ever find this message, please note the subtitle of this blog: I'm not a donk, I've been around for a while.

However, I've certainly enjoyed spending time with you in March so far:

thanks for the maney,

Conan

 

Toadies (acoustic redux) -- Backslider

2m2mm the copycats!

From the Hammered Quads blog:

These former college geniuses risk it all with their own money and have one goal in mind: win two million dollars in two decades. It's a high risk gamble you won't want to miss. Complicating their task are all the temptations of their new found Midwest lifestyle: the money, the women and a cozy country cottage. They have the brains to win... if they can keep their minds on poker.

I don't know how I missed this! Good luck, mid-western poker house!

B-52's -- Deadbeat Club

Going down to Allen's for
A twenty-five cent beer
And the jukebox playing real loud,
"Ninety-six tears"

Clearing bonuses, mystery withdrawal notice figured out

C'mon c'mon c'mon

Arrrg.....

Arrrg x 2....

OK, one measly VPP point wasn't going to slow me down, hah, and I finally cleared these bonuses last night. Ship the $59.75.

And so I went to withdraw, as I'd been meaning to for a few days anyway, and PokerStars warns me there's one more bonus I'd be missing out on. So I poked around the interwebz, as Stars has been keeping pretty quite about it.

Behold Tourney #251176107:

So, OK. Instead of withdrawing right away, I made one small deposit to take a shot at this SCOOP ticket prizepool:

Cards fly at 18:00 ET on Sunday March 21st. Wish me luck!

Bank of America gives customer the bird

I mean, they gave her back her parrot anyway:

A Hampton woman is suing Bank of America, saying one of its contractors wrongly repossessed her home, padlocked the doors, shut off the utilities, damaged the furniture and confiscated a pet parrot, though her mortgage payments were on time.

...

In further calls, Bank of America representatives told Ms. Iannelli they couldn't help her, told her to stop calling, said they were "tired of hearing from her" and put her on hold, told her to call back later and hung up on her, the suit said.

About a week later, Bank of America told her it had "made a mistake" and told her where she could find her parrot....

Via the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

This level of customer service is why I stopped doing business with BoA a decade ago.

Now moving your money out of the big national backs is quite trendy. Find a small local bank near you!

I wish the lady good luck with her lawsuit, and am glad the parrot survived. Can you imagine the courtroom antics from BoA's lawyers if it hadn't? I think it might look a little something like this:

 

Monty Python - Dead Parrot

Another swongy week

Still FPP pro-ing it through the slums of 25NL. Spent the weekend getting rivered over and over again, but lost the minimum in most spots.

Oh well. I'll get 'em next week.

Diamonds are a Conan's best friend

Funny I was in such a spades mood yesterday.

If they don't give me proper credit, I just take their stacks.

Poker Stars $0.10/$0.25 No Limit Hold'em - 8 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BTN: $12.35
SB: $16.95
BB: $25.00
Hero (UTG): $25.00
UTG+1: $39.45
MP1: $36.35
MP2: $19.75
CO: $11.50

Pre Flop: ($0.35) Hero is UTG with 8 J

Hero raises to $0.75, 1 fold, MP1 raises to $1.25, 5 folds, Hero calls $0.50

Flop: ($2.85) 7 5 2 (2 players)

Hero checks, MP1 bets $1, Hero raises to $3, MP1 calls $2

Turn: ($8.85) 5 (2 players)

Hero bets $3.25, MP1 calls $3.25

River: ($15.35) 4 (2 players)

Hero bets $4.75, MP1 raises to $9.50, Hero calls $4.75

Final Pot: $34.35

Hero shows 8 J (a flush, Jack high)

MP1 shows Q A (a pair of Fives)

Hero wins $32.70

(Rake: $1.65)


And two minutes later:

Poker Stars $0.10/$0.25 No Limit Hold'em - 7 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

Hero (MP): $25.00
CO: $25.00
BTN: $25.75
SB: $16.35
BB: $31.40
UTG: $25.00
UTG+1: $40.70

Pre Flop: ($0.45) Hero is MP with 8 6

UTG raises to $1, UTG+1 calls $1, Hero calls $1, 4 folds

Flop: ($3.45) 7 J 6 (3 players)

UTG bets $2.25, UTG+1 folds, Hero calls $2.25

Turn: ($7.95) 2 (2 players)

UTG bets $5.50, Hero calls $5.50

River: ($18.95) Q (2 players)

UTG bets $9, Hero raises to $16.25 all in, UTG folds

Final Pot: $36.95

Hero mucks 8 6

Hero wins $35.15

(Rake: $1.80)

Marilyn Monroe -- Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend

Ah, heck, let's make this one a twofer.

 

Madonna -- Material Girl