Fult Tilt Ponzi

1910 police mugshot of Charles Ponzi.

As much as I hate to speak ill of the dead, the statement from the ghost of Full Tilt Poker, or perhaps, less superstitiously, the executor of FTP's last will and testament, is just LOL.

As you might have heard, last Tuesday, the U.S. Justice Department accused FTP board members Howard "The Professor" Lederer, Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, and Rafe "Third Bastard Hardly Anyone Ever Heard Of Before" Furst of running a global Ponzi scheme that defrauded poker players out of $300 million.

My partner in dirtying up Slate's comments section (also an online poker player), Nic Nookular, cracked, that it goes to show you should "Never trust anyone who calls himself Jesus unless he's Mexican." Two plus Two's own BBV phenom Troll Cat suggested Mr. Furst should worry, tweeting: "I think we both know that the Prison Gangs are gonna Rafe Furst and ask questions later."

Jesus Ferguson's lawyer last week came out swinging insisting it wasn't a Ponzi scheme, and today FTP's executor (same person, one presumes) regurgitated (h/t to compncards, my cliffs after the break):

Full Tilt Poker is not a Ponzi Scheme

On September 19, 2011, the Department of Justice issued a release stating that Full Tilt Poker was “A Global Ponzi Scheme.”

While the government has taken issue with the underlying activities of FTP, under any reasonable interpretation, there is no way to characterize the operation of Full Tilt Poker’s virtual online card room as a global Ponzi scheme.

A “Ponzi” scheme is an investment fraud that involves the payment of purported returns to existing investors from funds contributed by new investors. Ponzi schemes do not involve any legitimate investment, but rather use the new investor funds to pay “dividends” to the initial investors.

Despite recent events, FTP remains committed to identifying a suitable investor and paying back its players in full.

Cliffs: "We're *not* a Ponzi scheme using new investors to pay old investors. Also: we'll pay everyone back as soon as we get a new investor."

Wat?

At this point would any investor go along with someone like Full Tilt?

And, hey, wait a dang minute! Chris Ferguson's lawyer is saying online poker isn't an investment opportunity? Has he never heard of his client's famous challenge? The Chris Ferguson Bankroll Challenge? Where he turned $0 into $10K playing online poker? C'mon! I don't think there's any other poker player more associated with portraying online poker as an investment opportunity.

Ah, but don't mind me. As someone who played 99% on PokerStars, I'm just whistling past the graveyard.

You know how to whistle, don't you?

Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks

If i told you things I did before
Told you how I used to be
Would you go along with someone like me?
If you knew my story word for word
Had all of my history
Would you go along with someone like me?